My breastfeeding story
I was inspired to share this story when Nadia and Laura of birthwell reached out to me to be a guest writer for their newsletter community. I wanted this story to live on my website as well, so I decided to share it in Blog form.
I wanted to share my breastfeeding journey with you all in the hopes it may help you (or someone you know) feel less alone…
Going into my delivery with my first daughter (Sadie), I knew breastfeeding might be a challenge. Having had a breast reduction in the past, I was told by my midwives that milk supply could be an issue. I did a combo of breastfeeding and formula from the start. Sadie never latched well (even after having her lip and tongue ties cut), I pumped tirelessly, and went to see 3 different lactation consultants. After each appointment I left in tears feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.
My sister was an amazing support during this time and kept reminding me that my mental health should come first. But I didn’t want to be a quitter. When Sadie was 6 weeks old I reached my breaking point. I couldn’t stop crying. Sadie couldn’t stop crying. I told my husband I thought I was experiencing postpartum depression. I felt stuck.
I spent that afternoon with my sister and made the decision that I was going to stop breastfeeding. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I felt beyond guilty and that I had failed. Truthfully, life got so much better for me once I stopped. And because I was a happier mom, not surprisingly Sadie was a happier baby. It was a huge turning point for both of us.
I decided from day 1 of finding out I was pregnant with my second daughter (Teagan) that I would bottle/ formula feed. What a relief this was for me. And this definitely contributed to decreased postpartum anxiety my second time around.
Breastfeeding is hard. And I don’t think women say that out loud enough.
If you’re struggling to breastfeed, you’re not alone. If you’ve tried and tried and want to stop, that’s ok. If you’re able to breastfeed, that’s amazing too. If you choose to formula feed from the get go, that’s also ok.
We’re all just doing the best we can to keep our babies happy and healthy. You’re doing amazing. ❤️
For more - Listen to this podcast episode where I share my breastfeeding journey in more detail
